Here’s the second part of our hospitality posts and this one is on how to be a nice guest! If you missed how to be a good hostess you can read that here. I love to travel and many times that includes staying in someone’s home. I want to have people invite me back so I try to follow these tips my momma taught me! Keep in mind most hosts don’t expect these things (although some tips are just common courtesy) but I know from experience as a host that it’s always an added gift to have awesome guests. (And we’ve been blessed with some of the world’s best guests so a lot of the ideas here I’m just borrowing from them!)
Don’t leave a mess
My parents have always taught me that I’m supposed to “leave things better than when I found them.” While sometimes I struggle with this at home (I’m thinking of some dirty clothes left in the bathroom at the moment…) it’s nice to leave your space looking clean if at all possible. If you have your own room and bathroom where you’re staying then this isn’t as important but when you leave make sure it doesn’t look like a tornado went through. If you can’t leave it looking as clean as you found it at least leave it tidy.
Offer to help
I know, I know…you’re on vacation or on a tight schedule but if you are spending a long time at your host’s house then offer to pitch in and help with dishes if you eat meals there. Assist with food prep or anything else you see your host needing assistance with if you’re able too. If you’re out but coming back for a meal it’s always nice to offer to pick items up at the store for dinner (granted you have a car and such). Helping out can be as simple as asking the hosts if they would like you to take the sheets off the bed before you leave on the last day.
Offer to pay for things
Did your host drive you around? Offer to pay for gas or metered parking if possible. Maybe treat them to coffee if you’re out. This isn’t necessary but if you have the money it can be a nice thing to do for your host/hostess. A lot of times when I’ve been traveling I’ve been broke and haven’t been able to do these things so this one is more just a trip by trip basis. If you’re there more than a few days offer to pay for some groceries.
Bring things you’ll need
We one time had strangers come to stay at our house. They were here for a speech and debate competition and just needed a place to crash for the nights. I’ve never seen someone come so prepared. They brought sleeping bags and towels and pretty much everything. They were some of the easiest guest we’ve ever had because they came so prepared and there wasn’t even any clean up after they left! They drove so this was possible. Those strangers turned into sweet friends who we always want to have come back. We’ve told them they really don’t need to bring their sleeping bags anymore…
Be flexible
Remember those guys that came last minute and spent the night? One of the things that made that possible is that they were flexible with the time and where we could put them. Since there were more people than we usually host we had to put some on couches in the basement and they were 100% cool with that. We’ve had other strangers come stay who understood that our schedule was busy and they were super flexible with it. They were awesome guests! When I’ve traveled I try make sure that my hosts know that they should just go about their lives as normal. I try to make sure that my hosts know that I don’t need to be entertained. By all means go do things if you’re in a new place but don’t make your hosts feel like they need to plan it all or do it all with you.
Communicate
If you roughly know your itinerary keep your hosts informed of when you’ll be there and when you won’t. If you’re visiting friends let them know if you have any preferences. Let them know if you need anything. Most hosts would rather know what you need than feel like you were too shy to say!
Be thankful
It always amazes me how welcoming people are and so kind to open up their homes to me. It’s always a gift when someone lets you into their homes and lives even if it’s a short amount of time so express your gratitude to them. One lost art that is that of a thank you note. Write the thank you note people! Just leave a note on your pillow or their counter or send one in the mail when you get home. Verbally thank your hosts as well but that letter writing is always thoughtful.
Bonus points for bringing a gift!
Like I mentioned earlier some of the time when you’re staying in people’s homes it’s because of a lack of funds so bringing a gift may just be out of the question but if you can it’s always nice to bring flowers or a little gift. I’ve made a list of quick of hostess gifts here if you need some easy ideas!
What are your favorite things to bring as a gift? Have you had any funny stories from staying with people? Please let me know in the comments below so I can laugh with you. 😉
And don’t forget here’s a list of items to bring for your hosts!
Trtue words, indeed and worthy of note. I’d only add that even when visiting family and friends who are like family, these same “rules” apply, perhaps even doubly important. I love how that group that borrowed crash space for the debate tournament became long term friends.
One thing I find to be extremely well received when I’m travelling is to bring really good coffee and/or tea. It does not cost much and can really make an impact. Personally, I roast, and deal in high quality tea, so have access to really good stuff, and I NEVER leave home wihtout it. OK, full disclosure: that is at least partly in self defense!! If I bring it, I KNOW it will be good. but I’ve found it is an amazing “social lubricant”. So I always travel with enough “kit” to be able to prepare excellent coffee and/or tea, even when travelling to other cities by bicycle!!! Any home will have water, and a means to make it hot. bring everything else.
I had met a man in another state at a festival, we corresponded some, and late last summer he wrote wanting to introcude me to a friend living near him. A few weekd later I learned that a missions trip I’d signed on to would be passing through his city, and made arrangements to separate from the group as we passed through on our return trip. Of course, I had brought my kit for making coffee during the mission team’s service, and still had it with me travelling back. My new friend offered to host me for some time, and did so to the same high standards Miss Elaini suggests here. He not having one, I putinto service the electric kettle I had dragged along with the team in another country. We enjoyed great coffee, and as I was leaving it just seemed perfectly natural to abandon that kettle right where it was on his kitchen counter. I simply said “it seems right at home there, so I shall leave it right where it is”. As he brought me to my transportation for the trip home, he thanked me for it….. I also left him the last of the fresh coffee I had with me. A couple weeks later I received an email from him, marvelling at how useful that kettle has been to him. He’d never had one and now cannot imagine running his household without it.
Having new business to attend to in the city he calls home, as soon as he learned I would be in town he quickly extended a new offer of hospitality for part of my stay there. During the time we spent together we became good friends.
Often something that is a normal everyday part of OUR life can become a bridge to building a lasting friendship with a “friend disguised as a stranger”. Each of us are unique, and have/do things uniquely ours. Never be afraid of sharing those things with others. Often you can introduce someone to a passion or delight they never knew they had!!!
That’s so true that something we enjoy daily can become a bridge to forging a friendship. 🙂 I really like that idea!
These are great points, Ellaini. Coincidentally, I have both these topics as a draft for my own blog, so I enjoyed reading your perspective. When serving as host, we sure learn how we want to be a good guest!! Both posts help make the experience so much more fun and special memories are made. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Thank you so much Sandi! I’d love to read your thoughts on this topic so I hope you post them to your blog 🙂 Haha yes hosting definitely reminds me what type of guest I want to be…