I have a confession to make. Sometime when I was around 10-12 I received this incredible art book. And you know what I did with it? Nothing. Well, I did look longingly at the pictures and the art projects inside and yearned to create and design on the brilliantly fun and inspiring pages. But I didn’t. I held back. Instead of painting and drawing and discovering I chose to leave the delight for anther time. Because once the book was used up that was it. Or so I thought. I kept waiting for a perfect time. I also chose to leave this book untouched because I was afraid of messing it up. Yes, an art book intended for the very purpose of fun and freedom and left for well over a decade to be looked at and unused is ridiculous. If you’re confused that’s okay. I confuse myself too… But lately I’m learning that all I have is right this moment. Who knows if I have next year. Who knows if I have till the end of today! And perfect is elusive unless you find Him.
So I’ve pulled it out and I’m starting to use it up. It’s time to stop holding back. Because these blank pages need to be filled. Empty spaces long to be made beautiful. Because the perfect time is right now. And because joy can be found in the present and worrying about joy in the future is counter productive. I’ve been postponing joy and freedom in my life for too long afraid of what might happen if I create, dream, and dare I even say touch life? I’d become a slave to perfection and scared of blank pages. Afraid of what I might do to them. Afraid of messing up. Afraid of using up all the joy. How silly is that?! Maybe being used up is just the way that we find joy. Using our life to the fullest is never a waste. We won’t run out of joy if we paint our lives with the things that really matter. Let’s fill in blank stares of hurting lives by painting in love. Let’s use up everything we have till all the spaces have been touched with freedom. Fear is no way to live. Instead of creating fear, for it is really only a figment of our minds, why not create a space to enjoy the present? Then let’s repeat as necessary.