{Day 327}

Oftentimes I wonder how much I should pour out my heart on here.  In many ways I forget that anyone anywhere at any time can read this.  I long to be real and genuine with any sweet and faithful readers on here while also being careful too because this isn’t my journal.  Careful or cryptic usually wins out even though I can say that every post has been who I am.  It just doesn’t always carve as deep as I want to.

I don’t really remember ever having a normal year.  Whatever normal is defined by I’m not sure so maybe they have been.  Yet this year has been a hard one for me.  It seems like it has been weightier than others and one where the crying and joy of my soul has only found true repose in Jesus.  Him alone.  I’ve felt my soul stripped down bare to the raw real me before but this year took me to a level just as deep if not deeper then I had been before.  I almost feel this year has left me to simmer in a good way.  To wait and let the low yet constant heat bring out a sweet fragrance that is sorely needed in my life.  To hopefully boil away more inconsistencies.  That is what I pray.  I’ve come to realize even more that I don’t really love, not that true sacrificial love.  And trust?  Well I’m learning that I put my trust time and time again in things that let me down while all the time the only One that I can really trust carefully and patiently waits for me to come to him.  Yes, Jesus is faithful and putting my trust in him will never prove me wrong.  I’m so grateful and overwhelmed to be his.  While this year has had its difficulties I’ve found so much real joy and for that I’m thankful!  Real joy…well it isn’t circumstantial.  It is based on a perfect person who will never change.  What a gift.

As you all know by now I’d really love to reach the goal by the end of this year…which is just hours away.  Will you please help me?  Will you help these sweet orphans in India?  Just $5 dollars will help to make a Christmas wish come true.  Can $2,000 dollars really be raised in two days?  It has before so let’s do this!

(Top photo by: Autumn Johnson Photography)  Just look at all those silly, happy crinkles on my face!  Yeah that’s me being a dork while Lorianne looks cute. 🙂  I like it.