{ DAY 391 }

It’s been happening more frequently of late.  Those moments where my brain is all foggy and jumbled.  Where I’m saying fuzzy instead of fizzy because that’s just how my thoughts feel.  Or where I mix up the sentence all together.  It was a hard but good week last week.  One where I clearly saw my own sin.  One of those moments where I just broke down because it all seemed like chaos.  And so on Sunday I was excited to take the Eucharist.  To stop and be grateful for that is the essence of the word.  So I walked up and dipped my piece of bread in the juice and walked back to my seat.  But as I was trying to still my heart and listen and be thankful I looked over to see that my sweet mum had purple red liquid all over her hands.  Drops splattering on her white skirt.  While I attempted to help I proceeded to drip my own morsel of juice laden bread all down the white hem of my outfit.  The moment of giving thanks was disrupted as I watched the stain sink deep into the fibers.  “Jesus please help me to focus” I prayed in desperation.  And it was right there that my heart smiled.  For I was reminded truly what this was all about.  It was about Jesus’ blood shed, splattered, dripping, and running free for me.  The crucifixion was messy because he knew my life would be messy.  He was willing to take that on.  To take on my mess and so while he didn’t have to, he stayed.  He stayed.  And he keeps on staying and comes into my chaos to make things right.  Fabric fibers dyed deep and reminding me that he died so that truth can sink deep into the fibers of my very being.  That he is always with me.  He stays even in my foggy brain state.  He stays and gives me strength in my weakness.  He stays because he loves me.  And my sin is washed away.  Whiter than any snow white piece of clothing  I will give thanks.  Maybe the “distraction” is just the moment where we really see?