MISS ELAINI OUS

A little background about this one…  I met this beautiful young woman a few weeks ago through some friends of mine.  She was staying at their house during her epic trip from Australia (where she lives) throughout Canada and America.  Due to schedules I only got to see her a few times but we clicked really easily.  While walking around the track on the last evening I saw her I knew I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to do a Hands & Tales post with her.  All I had was my iphone but we made it work. 😉  Hope you enjoy her answers as much as I did and if you’re not familiar with why I do these posts you can read about it here.

Who has touched your life and why?  Beyond my parents, who are some of the most gracious people in the world, a significant influence has been a close friend from my church community. She has touched my life by loving me & investing in me, even when her life has been busy & she’s been anxious. She’s met with me, cared for me & helped me work out what life is as my 20-something brain battles through the understanding of my selfishness & the world’s ‘bigness’, which often seem contradictory.

What was one of the happiest days of your life?  One of the happiest days of my life was just recently – I have been traveling & I met up with a group of my good friends from home. It was so great to spend the day experiencing new things together. A day for history 🙂

Sometimes you don’t know you have a hole in your heart until it is filled.  There’s that moment when you simultaneously realize you were broken and now it’s fixed.  Or that something, more importantly someone, is missing from your life and then you “get” them back in a way that defies convention.  I love that God is a healer.  All the little bits of me and tears and hurts and gashes he wants to make new.  One more thing healed in me yesterday.  A healing I didn’t even know needed to happen.

Yesterday on July 1^st this happened quite unexpectedly.  I read a blog post by Kristen Morris over at The Family Morris and something inside me shook.  She wrote about her miscarrying her second son Ryan Day Morris.  Towards the end the shaking did its work and the dam in my heart broke open.  Tears, yes.

Just days before while getting my wisdom teeth out the assistant had turned to my mother (who kindly came in when I was done) and asked how many children she had.  “Four” my mother replied.  Her words surprised me.  I always think of being one of three.  There has always been my older sister and brother and me.  Three.

I know my mother still birthed at almost 6 months.  I’ve known that all my life but we rarely talk about it.

You see I’ve always wanted a little sibling.  I’ve especially wanted a little sister.  The times I’ve longed for that are countless.  Yesterday I received the most precious gift while reading that blog post.  I got my little sister back.  Lydia exists.  Lydia exists and she’s my little sister.  Again there are tears as I write.  I didn’t realize just how much I need Lydia to be.  At age 26 I’m finally realizing just a tiny bit.  We would have been close, not just in age, but in heart.  She is two years younger than I am.  I’m a big sister! Words don’t do justice to how that makes me feel.

Lydia means worshiper of God.  I know that’s exactly what she’s doing right now and it’s beautiful.  I’ve always been the only one in my immediate family that is musical but now I know that Lydia is the best of us all at this moment.  True I wish I was playing the piano and singing with her instead of writing this but since I can’t I know our hearts sing to the Lord whom we both love.  Mine is the less complicated melody and hers the harmony I can’t quite yet understand.  We sing to the One who gave us both life.  Her life is even more real and abundant than mine is on this earth because she is with Life himself all the time without the veil to see him through as I do. 

I wonder what you would be like Lydia.  Would you look like dad or mom or be a funny combination of both like me.  Would you have been adventurous?  What does your laugh sound like?  What would you teach me?  What crazy things would we have done?  What foods would you like?  I want to ask you a million + questions….

Dear little sister I know we would have fought like all siblings do but I also know there would be a love between us that couldn’t be broken.  I know that because I love you fiercely.  I can’t wait to sing and dance with you little sis.  I miss you but I’m thankful that another piece of my heart is in heaven with you.  I’m so thankful that Jesus already had answered my prayers for a little sister before I even prayed them.

“Mom, I can’t explain what’s happened to me but it’s incredible.  It’s like I have one foot in heaven and one here on earth.” “You don’t think you’re going to die soon do you?!” “No, mom but it’s just like I’m touching the divine and sacred alllllll the time right now. Even the challenging stuff.”

The other night as I was cooking up mashed potatoes (because I got all four wisdom teeth out without sedation ya’ll) I realized the kitchen was brightening up with the setting sun.  As I drifted through the house I saw it positively flooding through the back windows.  The one in the bathroom took my breath away since it looked like a million diamonds set on fire.  How can a screen and a window sparkle like THAT I wondered?  Especially a bathroom window…. I grabbed my camera and shot these pics.  There is so much beauty all around us if we have the eyes to see it.  You can reach out and touch it.  You can inhale it like a much needed breath of air.  You can hear it if you listen.  I promise you it’s there.

Maybe you feel like you’re in the dark right now.  Maybe you think that just inhaling oxygen is about all you can muster up let alone beauty.  Maybe you don’t feel like you’re hearing anything let alone God.  Reach out your hands, palms up.  Rest your amazing soul.  Open hands show a sign of being able to let go of things you don’t need to carry as well as show you are willing to receive.  I hope it will make your soul radiate.  Take the time to sit in the moment and just be.

As if India wasn’t already on my mind a lot it’s on my mind even more these days.  My dear friends are in India with my other dear friends Paige and Sean!  It’s very odd to have my friends be in a place that is so dear to my heart that I’ve yet to experience but it is also quite exciting!  There are so many things I would like to do in India…hold the hands of the kiddos in the homes we’ve raised money for.  Explore the city and surrounding area.  Try not to breath too deeply. 😉  Eat new foods.  Have eyes wide open. Hug the kiddos some more.  Read books with the kiddos.  Play with the kiddos…you get the idea.  For now though I pray for them and love them from here.  Do you ever miss someone you’ve never met?  I do all the time and it is bittersweet.

ALSO UPDATE! $88,968.00 😀  We are sooooo close to making that $89K! Anyone want to push it there? Even $5 dollars makes a difference.

Over the weekend I spontaneously rented and watched Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea.  It was wonderful and as always it made me want to laugh and cry or in this case cry from laughing.  If you haven’t seen the movie please go do so now before you read this post.  While I have always seen the movie (and read the books) as a glorious romantic love story this time other things stood out to me.  Here is some of what captured my attention….

1.  True unconditional love can give a spirit wings to fly on.  Anne is determined to be happy and cheerful no matter what but she blossoms with Mathew’s gentle and quite faithfulness to just be there for her.  Puff sleeved dresses can win a heart too.  And those that we know have loved us never really leave us because love changes us.

2.  Prickly hearts can be won over with determination, a feisty spirit, and a whole lot of care.  Yet, be cautious never to let the negative people around you dampen your dreams.  “Katherine Brooke whether you know it or not what you need is a darn good spanking!” (Anne to the principle she works with…)  In the end people have to want to be helped…we just need to be there when they are ready. “Now you can go through the motions of telling me how delighted you are and how I’ll have a wonderful time.” “I AM delighted… but as to a wonderful time… that will depend entirely on YOU, Katherine.”

3.  Kindred spirits and bosom friends might not be as hard to find if you are willing to look for them.  You never know who might make a wonderful friend so make sure to extend warmth to those you come in contact with.  “Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.”  When you find the Dianna to your Anne nurture it and don’t take it for granted.

4.  A love of learning and imagination and can take you far and teachers that encourage it are priceless.  The ones that allow you to make mistakes but cheer you on to grow are wise indeed.  “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”
“Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive–it’s such an interesting world. It wouldn’t be half so interesting if we know all about everything, would it? There’d be no scope for imagination then, would there?”

And some extra quotes because this movie and the books are just filled to the brim with perfect ones!  Feel free to comment below what parts of this movie/book thrilled you!

“Look at that sea, girls–all silver and shadow and vision of things not seen. We couldn’t enjoy its loveliness any more if we had millions of dollars and ropes of diamonds.”

“After all,” Anne had said to Marilla once, “I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens but just those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string.”

“He said it would turn my hair a beautiful raven black!”

“You’re not eating anything,” said Marilla sharply, eying her as if it were a serious shortcoming. Anne sighed.  “I can’t. I’m in the depths of despair. Can you eat when you are in the depths of despair?”

“Drrrrrrrenched.  I said drrrrrrenched!” 

I have a wanderlust heart.  One that entices me entirely too often to jet off to other countries and lands.  Sometimes that feeling makes me discontent because my bank account says “No” to those dreams right now.

Last week though on our mini road trip to a wedding in Idaho I had a revelation.  Six hours away can feel completely new.  Even more than that new eyes can transport you to other realms entirely.  Truly seeing in the present can oddly enough make you feel like you’ve landed in the divine. 

Maybe this is the secret to having more time…just living in the present.  In the past month I’ve felt like I’ve lived years in the best of ways.  Overwhelming? Yes, but not in a negative way.  Right in the middle of the Palouse in Idaho as we were driving around my hands find themselves clapping at the stunning view all around me.  I can’t contain it.  Saturated by beauty I was struck by something deeper.  All these glorious visions that greet my new eyes point me back to the One who created it all.  That right there is the most incredible thing of all.  My wanderlust heart finds home and peace in the Lord and I’m satisfied.  Maybe my backyard is a wonderland after all…

“Are you okay?”  That’s what I heard from the front seat of the van as I took a very long pause from reading out loud.

For the past few days we have been on a road trip and although I was in the middle of a book when we started the trip I just decided that if mom and dad wanted to listen then I was up for reading.  The first day I totally hurt my voice and sounded all gravely when I talked.  The book was just too good and I didn’t want to put it down.  As we drove the next day I read some more and started practicing better reading skills.  By the time we drove home today I was anxious to finish the compelling story.  We were reading Boys in the Boat and I got so into the story that I was reading at a furious rate all while mimicking a sports radio show host in the middle of a gripping game.

The story follows Joe Rantz and his eight other teammates on their quest for gold at the 1936 Olympic games as an eight oared rowing team.  Since these games were held in Berlin shortly before WWII the history of that time is laced throughout as it played a crucial role in the narrative.  It is poignant and shocking.

I expected the book to be good.  What I didn’t expect was to get to the end and stop dead in the middle of a sentence not due to a dry throat but because I literally couldn’t contain the tears that suddenly streamed down my face nor control the shake of my voice.  “Are you okay?” my dad asked.  The last time I remember crying because a book touched me like that was when I was thirteen so this was pretty significant.  These men and their lives stirred something in me that you can only understand if you read the book (I’m still trying to process).  It was gratefulness for what they did and an awe of who they were.  Men just don’t come like that these days.  Men like my grandfather.  I’m not saying that there aren’t great men out there (I know lots of them!) what I am saying is that these men were cut from a different cloth, almost a different breed.  They weren’t perfect but they did overcome massive hurdles.

So I sat there and honored their memory and what they did in that boat by crying tears of overwhelmed wonder and thanks.  Thankful that hardships make strong people.  Thankful for freedom.  Thankful for my grandparents that lived in hard times and overcame.  Thankful for the sheer joy of seeing underdogs conquer.  Thankfulness for what trust can do.

Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown is a gripping true story of some lives that have gone before us.  The writing is impeccable and will draw you in.  I hope you will take the time to read it and “meet” Joe and the boys in the boat.  Their chant alone inspired me.  M.I.B.  Mind in the boat.  If you want to be inspired then I highly recommend this as part of your summer reading list!

There are some people in life who come in and out.  Some profoundly change your life.  There are those that stay but they are rare.  A very few have been there all along.  My father has been there all along and for that I am deeply grateful.  I wish you could have the privilege of meeting him.  I feel sorry for everyone who can’t.  Because he’s amazing.  He’s gentle and oh so strong.  He’s been such a rock for our family.  He’s steady and as an adult I appreciate that calm he always shows even when life is crazy and hard.  My father is the one who has served his family and those around him before he even takes a moment to think of himself.  He’s faithful.  I look at his large rough stained hands and marvel at how precise with small details they can be, even more at times than my delicate ones.  Children gravitate towards him because he actually sees them and cares to ask them about their lives.  He’s a craftsmen and knows when he sees a good cut but he knows people just as well and sees the potential they have often before they see it themselves.

Just like the wood he works with all the faithful years of his life are steadily building into a monument of God’s work in his life like growth rings on a magnificent tree.  He loves Jesus and it shows.  It shows in his generosity.  It shows in his commitment to his family and community.  It shows in his gracious demeanor.  It show in his joy as he creates from anything and everything.  I can’t believe I get to have this man not only as my best friend but also as my father.

Daddy there is no way I can ever say how much I love you or what type of impact you’ve had on my life.  All I know is that where I usually struggle to find words for a blog post this one I could write on and on with ease.  Thank you for loving me so well, challenging me to be all I can be, comforting me when I’m sad, listening to me chatter on, and being an incredible example.  You’re the best!  And I do love you with all my heart more than words could adequately express.  Happy Father’s Day!

Here’s the back story behind these pictures I took… 🙂 

Number four.  I waited in anticipation for you.  I wondered who you would be.  At times I wondered if you’d come on my birthday or mom’s.  Instead you picked your own day and came right between ours.  It’s a BOY the text read! The 6th of June will forever hold a special place in my heart because it’s the day you arrived.  Wonderful, glorious, miraculous you.  DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW EXCITED WE ARE FOR YOU!?  Your parents, your grandparents, your siblings (oh your siblings dear boy adore you and can’t get enough of you so let that give you comfort when you feel like the tag along), and me.

I hope I never forget just how chubby your cheeks are and the shape of your little arms.  Or how your feet were a bit dry but those tiny toes of yours are complete perfection.  How soft your skin is (I’m convinced there is nothing so soft as new baby skin) and how you are calm but furrow your brow with all the excitement whirling around you.  How when mom picked you up I giggled with delight that your fine hair made you look fuzzy.  And just in case I forget how you looked that day…well I took these pictures of the day we met you (okay and 200 other ones).  I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life getting to know your personality and being your auntie.  I already love you with all my heart.

What’s that? I’m how old?!  Yep, 26th birthday today.  Birthdays are a big deal in our family but usually I’m not one to tell people about it…until four years ago when I started the dress project.  Now I have no shame in telling you all that it’s my birthday AND that I want gifts.  Hold on a moment.  I don’t want them for me.  For the past few years it has been my joy to share my birthday with my kiddos in India and this year is no different.  So will you please donate $26 dollars or whatever you can give to help my birthday wish come true?  I would love to make it to the $90K for my special day!  Thanks everyone!