MISS ELAINI OUS

Last November was one of the most depressing times in my life.  Armed with that knowledge I’ve been determined to not have a repeat this year.  So far it’s been going quite well despite the crazy of my life right now.  I may even have a mischievous look on my face as I drive to appointments blasting happy tunes and singing along…at the top of my lungs.  Truth be told I’ve laughed out loud from sheer joy while by myself just going about my day.  I’ve even had friends ask me why I’m just so happy.  Well, it’s about perspective I suppose.  I wrote about it here.  It’s not that every thing goes perfectly…I’ve still gotten sad this month at times but I’m battling it differently. I’m being thankful for what I do have. Compared to most people in the world I have the most incredible life. Of course it’s easy to look at others lives and see only the people that have it better than you, but trust me…they have their trials and heart aches too. What you see (online especially) isn’t always the reality. Can’t we just know that?  Can’t we have grace for others but also ourselves?  Today is all you get.  SO in light of that why be depressed?!  It’s just not worth the time and energy.  The other night with a bunch of friends we went around the room sharing gifts.  Gifts of remembrance, gifts of laughter, gifts in autumn…  We all left feeling so much happier and none the poorer for our gifts of words.  Recounting the good things works effectively to boost your joy levels.  Just like complaining makes you more depressed thankfulness has the opposite effect.  Which are you going to choose?

If you are thankful for all the gifts in your life (and even if you’re not!) would you consider donating just $15 dollars to children today who have so much less than we do?  Maybe you could take up a donation with your family or friends on Thanksgiving day and then donate it.  These sweethearts have been through trauma so let’s reach out and help those who truly need it.  My kiddos inspire me because while they don’t have a lot they are thankful and happy for what they do have.

UPDATE!!! 77,195.73  Who wants to push it over to 200? 😀

(Photos by: Christa Taylor)  We hijacked this bike (don’t worry the owner didn’t mind) and then put it right back when we were done.  It’s a vintage bike and let me tell you that Christa and I got a workout trying to move that thing! Haha but we did it!  Also a big thank you to Christa for not only shooting these pictures but styling them as well.

Also I’m still looking for some willing people to be a part of the 2013 fundraising team.  Do you want to help sweet orphans in India?  Now is your chance!  Email me at misselaini @ gmail.com (remove spaces) if you’re interested!  Or if you need an end of year tax write off this is a great option. 🙂

My lovely friend Hannah recently posted a very clever and hilarious status on her Facebook page and graciously said I could use it here.  Let’s just say I was inspired to do my own take on it. 😉  Hannah’s version is first and then mine….enjoy!

:: What marriage does. . .

1. You can never start a statement with “I have an announcement to make”, or everyone will think you are pregnant.
2. If you are sharing exciting news you have to start with, “its not baby related” which then makes the actual news less appealing because what can top a baby.
3. When you get sick everyone wonders if its morning sickness
4. You can’t post anything baby related without people wondering if you are planning for a little one.
5. You can’t say you have a secret or people will think its a bun in the oven.
6. I bet you are now wondering if I am thinking about all of this because of a baby on the way. Thus proving my point.

:: What singleness does…

1. You can never start a statement with “I have something to tell you” because they’ll think you’re seeing someone.
2. If you are sharing exciting news you have to start with, “It’s not about a guy” which then makes the actual news less interesting because everyone wants to be in the know about your love life.
3. If you hang out with someone of the the opposite sex more frequently people will start to ask “What’s going on?”
4. You can’t post anything love related without people wondering if you’re talking about “someone” specific.
5. You can’t ask if you can bring a friend without people wondering if you want them to meet a “friend”.
6. I bet you are now wondering if I am thinking about all of this because there’s a special someone in my life. Thus proving my point.

(This picture is of my parents rings.  They have been faithfully wearing them and in love for 40 years!)

Dear Reader,

I’m sitting here on a Sunday evening at my kitchen table wishing that I had something profound or clever to share with you….or even something to say in general.  Beware, I certainly don’t.  Yet, I hope on the day you read this I can give you a little gift.  Pull up a chair and sit a moment.  Ahh you already are?  Good. Breath, just let the oxygen swell your lungs with life.  Pause.  Selah.  Rest.  This weekend I went to a bridal shower, a modeling gig, a luncheon, church, and the most fabulous birthday party for my five year old niece.  It was a full and wonderful time but thankfully I never really felt rushed.  There’s something that I noticed though in all those places…lives.  Not surprising really considering that there are over seven billion people on this spinning planet.  I met new faces and hugged old friends and my story touched theirs and theirs mine.  Whether it was a short amount of time or a more extended one our lives intertwined for that space of being.  All these people have hopes and dreams or maybe theirs have been squashed right out of existence, but they all have stories.  Those stories are beautiful and messy.  Those stories are real and precious.  Your story is too.  Might I encourage you to draw someone out today with whom you have an interaction?  Maybe it will be the barista on your way to grab coffee, the person sitting next to you on the bus, a grocery store attendant, your student, your boss, your coworkers, your children, your spouse, or your friend.  Here’s the exciting part.  You can make someone smile just by caring about their story.  I recently read an excellent article on charisma and it was stating how a person with charisma gives their full attention to the person they are with.  So the next person you come in contact with try stopping, seeing, and hearing the real answer to how their day is.  Draw them out and make them feel special, because they are.  So are you.  I hope you hear a story today and I hope you get to share some of yours in return.  Let’s stop to truly care.  Lives are the most worth while thing to invest in yet so often we just rush right by them in an attempt to get to the next group or task.  Pause and take in some life today.  Your attention is a priceless but inexpensive gift and will probably mean the world to someone. 

Sincerely
miss elaini

P.S.  Feel free to leave a comment and share with me a little of your life/day.  I love hearing from you wonderful people!

(Photos by: Christa Taylor)  While we were shooting this Christa almost got run over by a car, we had some random guys yelling at us and trying to get our attention, and we had to move from a spot where we almost got suffocated by the exhaust from a truck.  Welcome to adventures with C&E. 😉   Also a big thank you to Christa for not only shooting these pictures but styling them as well.

Also I’m still looking for some willing people to be a part of the 2013 fundraising team.  Do you want to help sweet orphans in India?  Now is your chance!  Email me at misselaini @ gmail.com (remove spaces) if you’re interested!

Here are some fun and wonderful things from around the web that I have been enjoying this past month.  I hope they inspire you, make you laugh, and amaze you.  The video above touches me every time.  Her voice is incredible and it’s hard to believe that a little girl can sing like that… Hope you all are headed into a great weekend!

Largest.tree house.EVER.

What each country leads the world in…with the country of my heritage, Greece, making me laugh since it’s spot on.

Hello! If you scroll down you’ll be awed and amazed by these stunning photographs of snowflakes.  Like we need another reason to love snow…

He was arrested 20 times…but my oh my are these pictures worth it.

Famous quotes with clever illustrations will make you smile.

How to decide who to marry…written by children.  Haha!

Beautiful and ingenious and will melt your heart.

World births and deaths in real-time is mesmerizing as well as moving.

Can I share something with you?  There is something that I’m just beginning to learn in my life at a deeper level.  It’s so simple and yet it makes a profound difference.  It’s something that I don’t just want to stand on the edge of but actually leap off of.  I want to wake up and be thrilled that I get THIS day, THIS moment to live.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not waking up depressed every morning, but I also haven’t been waking up with wide eyed wonder at the gift I’ve been given.  Not in that really see it way.  (Okay I never wake up physically wide eyed because I’m not a morning person but that’s a rabbit trail…).  There are no guarantees that I will wake up every day and yet for the past 25 years this grace has been given me.  If you’re reading this then you’ve been given the same grace.  Have you been just going through the motions of life but not really living?  Are you always looking forward to the next thing or just able to rest and enjoy now?  If not you’re missing out just like I was.  The next big thing is right now not someday in the future.  It’s the fact that you’re breathing in oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide.  WOW.  Today is an adventure.  Treat it accordingly by looking for the treasure.  It’s all around you.  This is life.

(Photos by: Christa Taylor)  Also a big thank you to Christa for not only shooting these pictures but styling them as well.  Last week there was this fancy plaid outfit but this week we’re showing you how to dress it down a bit.  Just a bit though… 😉  It isn’t the first time she’s put me in these glasses…she also had me wear them here and here.

Also I’m still looking for some willing people to be a part of the 2013 fundraising team.  Do you want to help sweet orphans in India?  Now is your chance!  Email me at misselaini @ gmail.com (remove spaces) if you’re interested!

Warning:  This post is not an easy one to write and is dealing with sexual abuse.  I am in no way an expert on this and I feel very immature trying to handle this content but it’s been weighing on my heart.  My little voice feels so faulty but maybe if we all join forces some good will come of speaking up for those that can’t.  If this is something you’re not comfortable with reading then please skip today’s writing. 

At first it just seemed like a foggy cobweb filled dream.  When I was younger I really didn’t understand.  It was whispered about and hidden.  Now as an adult the haze can no longer hide the reality that this isn’t a bad dream.  It’s a nightmare.  While I myself have mercifully escaped sexual abuse others I love deeply have not.  This breaks my heart in ways that I can’t even really begin to explain because I know they are hurting and suffering in ways I can’t even begin to imagine.  Although I can’t tell other’s stories here just know that my heart is wrenched and my stomach tightens at the things I’ve heard.  Have you heard the stories?  Is it your friend or a family member?  You?  Has someone done horrible traumatic things to you?  If so please let me say I’m grieved over what was taken from you.  I’m sorry you weren’t valued as you should be.  Because sweet person YOU are valuable.  In those moments or moment I know that someone else said their own life and desires were more important than yours but that does NOT mean you are worthless.  You are a priceless treasure.  If you’ve told someone and they have disregarded you, said you were lying, or protected the perpetrator instead of you that isn’t okay.  How I pray you can find someone safe to help you and comfort you.  Sexual abuse is pure evil.  If the shame of other people’s sin is weighing you down I sincerely pray you will find a person who will be a safe haven for you to talk to.  You are not shameful. You are beautiful.  You have great value.  You are created in the image of God which means you have a voice, relationship, and power but sexual abuse replaces voice for silence, relationship for isolation, and power for helplessness.  God wants to restore his image in you.

Here’s something that I feel needs to be talked about more.  Even if you haven’t been sexually abused people around you that you know have been.  Statistics show that one out of every four women has been abused and I don’t know the statistic for men but I know it’s probably not pretty either.  That’s a lot of people.  If someone has the courage and bravery to share with you their story don’t for one second discredit that.  Listen compassionately and carefully.  How you choose to respond is crucial.  There is healing and redemption.  There is light and life in all the darkness and death of sin.  Let’s listen and love well those around us who are hurting and often reeling silently around us.  Then let’s be a voice proclaiming hope.

We watched as the long slender candy cane striped arm came down across the road and the cars started piling up, something so small holding back like a dam the flood of people stretching back as far as we could see in our rear view mirror.  Lights started flashing and the beeping nose came loud and clear as we sat looking for the rush of speed that was about to come.  There we sat and waited.  And waited.  The rumbling never came though and still we sat.  Christa and I kept chatting hoping that something would change.  Finally we turned off the car and proceeded to get out and grab our phones from the trunk.  “Can we do anything” we wondered?  Bicyclists conveniently asserted their advantage of size and passed around the blockade while we were completely stuck.  “Maybe we can call someone to help?”  By this time we were getting antsy so we picked our brains for ideas.  After I spotted a sign with a number on it we decided that it couldn’t hurt to try and call so Christa punched out the numbers that I squinted to view.  Yes, we called the US Railway number.  What else are two gals supposed to do?!  Shortly there after a guy came and lifted up that candy cane arm and let us pass.  As we drove over the tracks we were triumphant because we realized something.  We had just defied the Bystander Effect.  Usually we succumb to it.  We especially do if we aren’t aware of it.   This heuristic goes that generally where there is a problem or a crisis the more people that are involved or watching the less likely someone will be to do anything about it.  Isn’t that interesting?  We thought it was.  Yet the Bystander Effect has been around far before it was labeled.  While reading in Malachi I came across this verse in chapter one, “Oh that there were one among you who would shut the doors, that you might not kindle fire on my altar in vain!”  That’s all it takes.  It takes one person to make a stand.  One person to change the course.  One person to make a difference.  It’s easy to think that someone else will fix the problem because there are so many other people that could do something right?  No, it needs to start with me.  Will it start with you?  Will you be the one to stand against the river and go upstream?  I hope you will.  Today.  Now is always the best time to start the good things that should have been done yesterday.  Now, really is all the time we are guaranteed.  Let’s be the people who make a difference.

(Photos by: Christa Taylor)  Huge props to Christa for not only shooting these pictures but styling them as well.  Behind the scenes side note:  she draped and pinned that piece of fabric right onto me….she later threw the piece of fabric right into the dumpster.  That’s how we roll. 😉

Also I’m still looking for some willing people to be a part of the 2013 fundraising team.  Do you want to help sweet orphans in India?  Now is your chance!  Email me at misselaini @ gmail.com (remove spaces) if you’re interested! 

Refresh. Click, click, click.  I’ve fallen into the trap, the big-nasty-dark-side-of-social-media trap.  The one where I post something and then check a ridiculous amount of times to see who “liked” it or who commented.  Don’t tell me you haven’t done that because I know we all have!  We’ve refreshed that page enough times that if it were actually refreshing a person we’d have provided clean water for all of Africa…  Have you been snared by this sneaky trap?  Quite a while ago I stopped checking my site status because it was discouraging me but even with one snare gone I’m sad to say that I look at those “likes” and comments (or the complete lack there of) and I base my ability to write or connect with people on that fact alone.  Since when did likes or comments determine my ability?!  I start writing and posting to get attention and that right there is when I start going wrong.  Why did I start a blog in the first place?  Why do I still write?  What is my goal for this blog?  Those are the questions I need to ask instead of how many views a post or status received.  I need to write because it’s what I need to do and I need to not give a cent what anyone else thinks.  The moment I start writing to get attention is the moment I become a slave.  And you can bet I don’t want anything to do with being a slave.  Have you been a slave and not even known it?  Some of the greatest writers of our day may be in complete obscurity while writers with less ability to effectively communicate rise to fame.  I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try to build a platform and influence people or not link your blog posts to Facebook.  Some excellent bloggers link their posts to Facebook a few times a day.  What I am saying is write to grow better and write to have a voice but never write to gain an identity!  Don’t fall into the trap that I did.  Real people in Africa are dying every day from a lack of clean water.  In light of that I don’t think how many likes and comments we get anywhere on social media is all that important…

The sinking feeling sank all the way down to my toes, but my body filled right back up with all the hurt of the moment.  While the incident was relatively small and not really a thing of much significance I felt betrayed by the response I received.  Every fiber of my body wanted to scream, “How could you?!”  At that point I was already a bit tender from other life experiences.  I’d gingerly given this friend my trust again after this individual had lost it in the past.  Yet, that one small action tore down the bricks of trust that I’d been carefully building in this friendship.  What really caused the misery was that my friend wrote me off and I felt insignificant and childish.  Dismissal of my hurt through only a few short words made me tense as I felt completely uncared for by someone I felt should care.  Just like that I’d been written off.  All the way down to my next appointment of the day I held back the tears.  All the way home I let them roll.  My mind and heart went into defense mode and while I knew I loved this person that had hurt me I also knew I didn’t like the individual at that moment.  My reaction to the loss of trust was to feel the roaring thought that clanged in my head, “I can’t trust anyone.”  As my car sped down the highway so did my thoughts.  One tiny seed had caused me to recall numerous times I’d been wounded by people. In the next moment I was struck with the thought that I couldn’t even trust myself.  People had let me down but I’d also let myself down countless times.  Right then I realized a truth I needed to be reminded of.  Only God can be trusted.  He is the only One who never changes and is always good.  Gently he took my thoughts and turned them to a garden.  Amidst a garden where all of his closest and dearest friends fell asleep Jesus was betrayed in his most significant time of need.  Not only Jesus’ friends hurt him but the whole world wrote him off.  He was disregarded and misused so that I would never have to feel insignificant.  He was not trusted so that I could know true trust.  His heart was broken so that mine could be made whole.  Putting my trust in the Man of Sorrows, who knows my pain that I inflicted on him and loves me anyways, is the best plan for healing.  Dear Reader, I know you’ve been hurt by friends and had people defy your trust and I pray you can find restoration in Jesus for he is the only one that can be trusted 100%.  Let’s dwell on that and not on the wrongs done against us.  Let’s live freely loving others regardless of how they treat us because our hope and trust is secure in the unchanging One.

P.S.  I realize the pictures are dark and slightly grainy but we were racing against the setting sun…and sorta lost…but I still like the moody feel it gives these photos. 🙂  Also I still need people to be a part of my 2013 fundraising team so please let me know if you’d like to bless some sweet children in India! Email me at misselaini @ gmail.com (remove spaces) if you’re interested!

Since the beginning of July I’ve been reading Malachi.  Yes, you did hear me right.  In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about it’s an obscure book of the Bible and the last one in the Old Testament.  When you need some comfort or some wisdom and if you choose to turn to the Bible I’m guessing you don’t flip to that section of scripture…  I’ll be honest, it wasn’t my first pick either.  After studying this book though for the past four months I’ve come to see some beautiful things.  I’ve been challenged and convicted as well as encouraged.  If you’re needing some encouragement today then I hope this little tidbit that I have to share helps.  The people in Malachi are strangely like me.  Or more accurately I’m like them.  They constantly questioned the Lord in arrogance.  Far too often so do I.  There was a small group of people though that feared the Lord and came together to write a book of remembrance. (Malachi 3:16)  The Lord heard them and gave attention to them.  That is amazing.  The God who made butterflies as well as lions and set the earth spinning and causes all life to be sustained hears us!  Yes, he hears YOU.  Right of at the end of chapter three comes one of my favorite verses in this book.  “They shall be mine, says the Lord of hosts, in the day when I make up my treasured possession, and I will spare them as a man spares his son who serves him.”  Read that again.  The Lord, the existing One, calls you his own.  Not only that though he takes it to perfection and beauty by calling us his treasured possession.  If that isn’t powerful I don’t know what is.  You, yes YOU, are loved, valued, and created with a purpose.  That changes everything doesn’t it.

(This picture has nothing to do with the post but it was taken on a walk at the beginning of the year where I just tried to see the beauty in the things I always pass by.  Plus I’m a firm believer in pictures with posts.  They’re just better.)

Update on baby Jaya: she’s doing well after having open heart surgery last week but they are still at the hospital.  Please pray that Paige and Sean can take their sweet little girl home today!

UPDATE!!!!!! The 2013 fundraising is off to a good start! The new total is $76,945.73.  Who wants to push us over to double sevens?!  You all know how much I like 3’s and 7’s right? 😉  If you’re interested in being part of the amazing fundraising team check this out and let me know. 🙂