MISS ELAINI OUS

Last week was challenging.  And I’m not sure how to communicate this post with you.  In fact I’m a bit nervous (i.e. terrified that you might take this wrong/misunderstand where I’m coming from and where I am) but I want to share my heart with you and open up a little about this journey I’m on.  How I wish this “chat” could take place over a cup of tea…

I’ve chosen to not talk about my health challenges in depth on here (for a multitude of reasons) and I’m still not ready for that fully but you’ll need a little peak into my past to give some background to this last week.  Lying in bed for four years crazy sick and in searing pain does all sorts of things to you.  Some of those things I’m just beginning to realize.  You see I would never ever change the fact that I went through that time.  Ever.  It has shaped me and molded me into the person I am today and I saw Jesus like I never had before.  Was it worth it you might ask?  Most definitely.  Since then though I’ve realized I’ve picked up some baggage in my view of God.  Due to the fact that I know God loves me and because I’ve seen his love displayed time and time again through suffering or challenges I’ve developed the habit of assuming that God will show his love for me by always having me go through trials.  Let me make a note here that I do believe that God blesses me as in so many ways!  Yes, I sound like an oxymoron.  What I’m talking about here are the big desires; the big dreams and hopes of my life.

Last week I wanted to give up hoping that any of those large and even healthy dreams will ever come true.  Since the greatest desire of my heart is to know Jesus I feel like in the process he won’t give me any of the other lesser desires of my heart.  This is wrong thinking, but what I was wrestling through none the less. As I was lying in bed talking with Jesus I knew I needed to hear his words to me so I grabbed my Bible and started flipping through.  And that’s when I found it.  In first Kings chapter 19 of all places.  Right before this chapter Elijah has just seen an incredible miracle but then he becomes afraid of what will become of him when a threat is made about his life.  He runs away and is distraught even asking for God to let him die.  Instead the Lord lets him sleep and sends an angel to give him nourishing food.  Not once but twice.  On that food Elijah is sustained for 40 days and nights.  The passage then goes on to say this:

“There he came to a cave and lodged in it. And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”  He said, “I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.”  And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire, the sound of a low whisper.” 1 Kings 19:9-12 (emphasis mine)

A dam of emotion broke inside of me and made my sight go all blurry with its torrent of water.  Because as I was reading and hearing about how God was going to pass before Elijah and seeing the earth shake I wondered what it would say when God finally came.  What crazier thing could happen after rock shattering wind, an earthquake, and fire?  But no, it wasn’t something violent.  Instead when God shows up to speak with Elijah he comes with a gentle blowing.  A still small voice, as some translations say, or a calm.

God in all his glory comes and speaks gently to Elijah’s downcast spirit.  He doesn’t send another trial.  Instead he first cares for his needs, sleep and food.  On the bread that the Lord provides us, his body broken for us, we can be sustained like no other.  Then when he speaks it is so quietly and lovingly that my concordance says thin.  All week he has patiently been whispering to me that he loves me.  And that he doesn’t always send trials.  Doesn’t he promise in Isaiah 42:3 that “A bruised reed He will not break and a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish; He will faithfully bring forth justice”?  Yes.  What a blessing that Jesus is patient with me.  My heart is learning to fall in love with him even more.

One way that Jesus has shown his love is through dear friends.  My amazing friend Rachel sent me a whole box of clothes and in it I found this shirt.  She’s amazing.  So I borrowed my mom’s heels (yes, my moms!) and this is what came together.

UPDATE!!!! $73,982.13  Alllllmost to the $74K mark.  Guess what day is approaching fast?  May 1st is the 2 year anniversary of the start of THE dress project.  Wouldn’t it be pretty cool and amazing to get to $75K by then?  And to celebrate you might even see a certain LBD make an appearance. 😉  Who’s up for helping us get to $75K?!

(Photos by: Christa Taylor) 

It’s a funny thing how our brains work.  We look at a sparkling diamond flashing crisp light and we don’t question it’s value.  Although we may not know the price we understand the value. Yet, when it comes to people it’s easy to miss the value and only put a price on them.  From the moment we meet someone we start assessing each individual as worthless, important, insignificant, beautiful, boring, witty….you name it.  Why is it so easy to miss the incalculable worth of a breath.  Oxygen in and carbon monoxide out.  Fairly simple right?  Done involuntarily.  Yet oh the importance it has to our bodies.  Without it a lifeless shell is all that exists.  But it’s more than that isn’t it.  It’s the soul.  It’s the LIFE.  And it comes in all shapes and sizes.  Diamonds in their uncut, unwashed state look like dull expressionless chunks of cloudy glass.  Until they are given the care and attention they need to shine.  I don’t know much about life but I’m pretty sure the same thought applies to humans.  Each of us needs care and attention and the confidence to live up to our potential.  When I look at my kiddos in India this is what I see:  Beautiful, amazing humans and their potential…well it would blow our minds if we could see it.  Being artists, speakers, teachers, preachers, doctors, lawyers, musicians, moms, dads, presidents, authors, or scientists could easily be in their futures.  But for now theses incredible people need to be nurtured and loved.  I don’t know about you but getting to be a tiny part in these future world changers lives gets me excited.  Crazy excited. So excited that I HAVE to do something about it.  Will you join me?  Will you count the cost and consider their lives worth it?  It’s all about perspective and what’s important isn’t it Elaini. Just giving myself a pep talk here.  All my kiddos are diamonds.  Strong, resilient, and beautiful and some of them just need a little more time learning to shine although the process has already begun.  I can’t wait to see how light and hope radiate out of them 3, 5, 10, 15, 2o years from now.  Mind blown.  Please consider donating today to this future generation.  Just $5 dollars feeds one of these sweet little darlings for a month.  That’s equivalent to about 90 meals for them or one coffee for you…

“A person’s a person, no matter how small.” ~Dr. Seuss

“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks ya better run better run…”  That one line of lyrics from the song Pumped up Kicks by Foster the People kept skimming through my brain as I was looking at these blue sneakers of mine.  It’s a catchy song but honestly I don’t even know the lyrics except that one line.  Because it’s so upbeat I was humming the tune one day when someone mentioned that the song was about a shooting…I was pretty surprised.  And then there is the pose of that first picture of this post.  I’d remember seeing it somewhere and I was pretty sure “somewhere” was a Michael Jackson photo but wasn’t 100% convinced.  Until after the shoot I googled it.  Sure enough it’s a pretty neat and classic Michael Jackson picture.  I couldn’t tell you when or where I first saw it or any time I’d seen it for that matter.  Yet it was stamped on my subconscious.  Here’s the crazy thing: we may not think that the background and noise of what we see and hear everyday has an effect on us.  But it does.  In fact it’s quite powerful.  And it can pop up unaware.  It’s exciting and concerning to me all at the same time.  It’s exciting in the fact that our brains are capable of so much.  On the other hand it’s concerning to think of what’s being put on the hard drive so to speak.  Let me illustrate in other way.  Someone had left a stack of cd’s in my car and since I rarely get new music I had started to listen to these cd’s on repeat every time I got in the car.  Fast forward a few months and I was wondering why I was feeling down all the time.  There was no reason that I should feel gloomy but I did.  And then it dawned on me that the music I had been carelessly feeding my brain was on the depressing side.  I stopped listening to that music and started listening to uplifting music and sure enough my spirits rose.  Pretty crazy right?  But I’ve seen it happen over and over and not just with myself.  Ever notice how an upbeat song makes you want to dance or a slow melancholy ballad can make you want to cry?  We obviously can’t control everything that goes into our subconscious but what about the other things that we thoughtlessly look at or listen to?  Does it matter?  Do you care?  I’ve realized that I want to care.  I want to make an effort to consider more aspects of my life and how I can change and grow and be a more thoughtful person about what I let into my life.

Today’s outfit came about because I’m running out of ideas (and clothes!) to showcase on here and I figured maybe it was time for a low key outfit that’s more casual.  I used to live in jeans, sweatshirts, sneakers, and a slicked back ponytail but NOT in a cute way.  So this is my cute, comfy, casual, grown up look of the version I used to wear all the time as a geeky kid. 🙂  Oh and while I was trying to imitate that Michael Jackson pose (that I by no means executed perfectly…) a song of his started randomly playing on Christa’s mix…it was pretty funny.  And I said those Puma sneakers are practically vintage because I’ve had them for over ten years. 😉

(Photos by: Christa Taylor) 

Bold colors and strong but simple graphics always catch my eye.  But after seeing a few too many versions of “Keep Calm and Carry On” I was beginning to feel like they were overused and cheesy.  Yet, that feeling changed a few weeks ago when I saw this video on a friend’s blog.  Because a good story changes everything.  And this poster has an extraordinary story.  One with quite a lot of depth and meaning.  Never underestimate the power of a good story.

Some things I’ve been enjoying around the web:

I dissolve in laughter every.single.time. I see this…I promise I’m not a mean person but for some reason it tickles my funny bone.

If I had sons….WOW what a letter.

Now here’s how to maximize space! This loft is like a puzzle.

*Heee heee*

I’ve been feeling stuck.  But you know what?  My thinking is all wrong.  I don’t have to feel stuck.  I can choose to relish in what I have right now.  I can choose to learn and grow even if I keep stationary.  Just because I stay here doesn’t mean I can’t grow, learn, and explore.  I can read a novel and get lost in the streets of Paris.  I can watch a cooking video and pretend that I’m in culinary school in Italy.  Or I can sew a dress and pretend that I go to Parsons school of design.  Right from my home.  Sometimes all I can see is the monotony of my life.  I know that having fun isn’t the reason to live but I’ve been realizing that I need to have more joy (which is actually different from happiness) but maybe learning something new will help a bit.  Of course I believe that true joy comes from Jesus but I’m learning how to have more fun with him too.  Ultimately he’s the Creator and he’s also limitless so why not ask and see what new experiences he has for me of himself and this life he’s given me?  I certainly haven’t arrived but I’m on a journey…

Christa graciously let me borrow her closet for these pictures and she also styled this outfit for a fun change.  Sometimes it’s good to let go and just try something new. 🙂  You’re never too old to learn!

Writing down what you are grateful for is supposed to increase your happiness so today I’m grateful for:

a long walk in the sunshine amongst the fir trees with a dear friend who will soon be moving (I will miss her greatly)

Meeting a new beautiful friend and hearing her exciting dreams

a friend who is willing to help me out last minute and overnight ship something

being encouraged by a reader who is about to start her own project to raise money for wells

thinking I had lost hours of work and then finding out it wasn’t all lost (Hallelujah)

hugs from my mom

getting a comment back from a blogger with a very successful blog

the cutest hand stamped name tags at our church ladies retreat

a thoughtful gift bag with Elaini safe yummies

getting palm branches on palm Sunday after dreaming about that since I was a child

my darling red headed nephew turning six and making a basket ball cake for said six year old that truly was a sphere

(Photos by: Christa Taylor) 

It’s that time again! Tips and tricks is back on the blog and my dear friend Jeni outdid herself once more!  We both love color and an easy and inexpensive way to add some to your wardrobe is by grabbing yourself a pair of color saturated tights.  When I first ventured into the realm of colored tights I went with a very dark plum hue because I wasn’t ready to jump into anything too bright too soon.  Yet Pantone’s color of the year is emerald.  Happy day! I love that color of green (plus my eyes are green so how could I not love it?!). 😉  Whether you like to be safe or adventurous with your clothing and colors I think emerald green tights would be a great addition to your closet.  Still not buying it?  Maybe an emerald statement ring would be more your style?  Now that’s something I think we could all go for…it’s just not as inexpensive. 😉

Here is my favorite part about this post though:  You can buy a print (or a few if you really love your friends) and $20 dollars will go to the kiddos in India! So you can shop without feeling guilty.  Best.deal.EVER.  So shop away with the confidence that every purchase makes life a little brighter for an orphan.  Now that’s just peachy.

(Art work by: Jeni Kubicek Art) Go check it out to see some more amazing art!

Where to start?  That’s usually what I ask myself when I sit down to write.  I’ll ask someone nearby for ideas but for some reason skydiving didn’t seem like the best option for today’s post. 😉  I could talk about how last week was a hard week because of my sin but I doubt that will really do any good either.  So instead I’ll share with you a little story of how my heart is growing.  Because hope is always a better option.  Because dwelling on my sin won’t change me but looking to Jesus will.  Several months ago a godly older woman was writing me and I was explaining to her how God was teaching me new levels of trust.  It all started with this post which has since been developing in my mind.  One of the things that stuck with me from her email was this:  hands out and palms up to the Lord.  The idea being that when we live surrendered lives Jesus is able to give what we need and take away that which we don’t.  It may sound silly but there are times in my day when I physically have to put my hands out with palms up to remind myself that God is in control and I am not.  Why do I try and take control when surrendering really gives me so much more peace?  Why do I fight it?  Yet, there is grace and patience with Jesus.  It’s incredible and makes my heart sing when I rest in him.  When I fully let go and trust my life to him it really does make things better.  Basking in his beauty and faithfulness that is displayed all around me and holding my hands out in praise is always a better option than being closed fisted.  Isn’t rest always better than inner turmoil?  Since he says he is peace and I know that to be true I’m going to run to him and hold out my hands.  Because I have nothing to give him except my broken self while he has everything to give me, himself.  The God who holds galaxies in his hands holds me and sings over me.  Astounding.  Do I trust him?  Yes, but I’ll always be going to deeper levels of that trust.

(Photos by: Christa Taylor) 

Hello everyone! I’m really excited to have my friend Paige guest blog today about what’s going on with the kiddos in India.  Paige and Sean have faithfully been living in India and serving our sweet darlings.  Enjoy hearing from Ashok (one of the children) as well! Also please note that CCH is the on the ground organization that Warm Blankets partners with to help these kiddos.  

Many people in the world are talking about the rise of India.  And there is a rise in the upper class, which is less than 1/3^rd of the population.  The children and the villages that CCH is working with are not experiencing this rise.

But with CCH, these children are able to rise above and get out of the cycle of poverty that has been circling their families for generations.  Education is one of the main keys to breaking this cycle.  We believe that if we educate and disciple these children, they will grow up and give back to these communities, thus breaking the cycle, not only in their families, but in their communities as well.

This is a 20- or 30-year vision we have for these children.    And it starts with getting them into English speaking schools while they are young and providing as much support as we can to help them succeed in their studies.

School is coming to an end for them this year.  In March the children are preparing for their final exams, which take place throughout the month of April.

Here is a testimony from one of our boys.  His name is Ashok and he has lived in a CCH home for 3 years now.

My Name is P. Ashok: I am studying 5^th grade. Before I come to the CCH school I use to do field work.  When I see other children’s are going to the school, I feel very bad and I use to think about my life.  Because of this I started to bite others and say bad words. I don’t know what I am doing. But I know I am behaving very badly, that I can’t control my anger.

I was come CCH home through the church pastor.  When I joined the CCH home I really so happy that I am going to school.  After joining the CCH home, my life was become faith, and I learn about Jesus.  I receive Jesus as my personal Savior.  Now I don’t feel that I am alone.  I have a friends I always love my CCH friends really they are so good, if any thing happens to me, they all pray together for me. Now I am not getting anger because they are showing me God love on me. When I become big I want to be a doctor.

Ashok wasn’t going to school before he came into our CCH home.  And now he wants to become a doctor.  CCH gives a chance for hope and redemption in the lives of these children.  They grow up loved and cared for, educated and discipled, and they will be able to give back to India and their villages in ways that we can only excitedly imagine.

Paige thank you for taking the time to tell us about what is happening over there. I really appreciate it!  If anyone feels compelled to donate that would be amazing!  Every little part really does matter.  Even if it is $5 dollars.

In general I can be pretty serious and I don’t know why that is since I love to laugh.  As I get older I’m learning to embrace being goofy and laugh at myself as well.  While I had a good time being silly in these glasses I think I’ll leave the wearing of them to my good looking brother.  🙂  Thankfully I had LASIK done on my eyes so I don’t need glasses or contacts!  The 15/20 vision isn’t bad either. 😉

In all seriousness though I was musing on glasses and how they help us see but only for the time we leave them on.  Same with contacts.  They correct our vision for a time but it’s not permanent and it’s not really the easiest either.  In fact it can be a pain. What if you loose your glasses or your contact gets scratched?  Let’s not even get into smudges on the lenses…  Isn’t that how good works can be if we do them in our own strength?  Things might look good for a while but in reality it hasn’t changed who we are.  We still need corrective help.  But when we have surgery on our eyes we can see clearly all the time.  In the same way, a heart change makes all the difference with our good works.  Do we do them to be seen and noticed by others or truly out of love for Jesus? Is it for aesthetics or permanent?

(Photos by: Christa Taylor) 

Just like a pebble thrown into a still lake creates ripples so our actions create ripple effects.  Today I want to share with you a pretty amazing story that began years ago and is still having repercussions.  I heard about an amazing woman, Sheena from The Uniform Project, who had worn the same dress for a year and styled it differently to raise money for children’s education in India.  My thought, “Wow that’s really neat but I could never do that!”  Ha! God has a sense of humor.  A few months later I was planning to wear the same dress for 100 days…mmmhmmm.  But when I didn’t reach my original goal I kept fundraising.  And brought in some more people to help me by doing the 12 days of Christmas project.  One of the lovely ladies, my lords a leaping, from 2011 is making her own waves now and I couldn’t be more happy or proud of what she has done.  For her senior high school project 17 year old Molly put on a fashion show and a silent auction! Yes, you heard me right.  She decided to continue using fashion to raise money for our kiddos in India! Can I get an Amen!?!  It was pretty incredible to go be able to watch all of her hard work pay off.  I have a huge update for you all because of Molly’s love, dedication, and hard work that she has been pouring into this for over a year.  It makes me excited that other people are catching a vision to help orphans and that they are doing something about it.  AH.MAZE.ING.  Someone pinch me.  I’m not dreaming right?  This one thing that I definitely want to be “contagious”. Molly, I’m so SO proud of you.  I really can’ say that enough.  I know it wasn’t easy, but you persevered.  I love how you got friends and family to model and that everything was donated.  Only you could get a whole team to make you that incredible runway. You’re an inspiration dear.  THANK YOU! The orphans thank you too…

(Pictures: 1 Me and Molly herself, 2 the models working the runway, 3 beautiful table arrangements, 4-5 some sweet friends and my mom who came with me to the fashion show.  I was so happy to have them come! They are lovely women inside and out.)

UPDATE!!!!!!  Drum roll please: $73,817.14   Feel free to add to that total and help some more kiddos! 😀

(It’s a happy numbered post today for those of you who know me and have been reading my blog you get what I mean!)