A divine gift

Today I have my amazing mom guest blogging for me!  A) Because this is a hard topic and B) she’s really wise! Thanks mom, I have a huge amount of respect and love for you.  

Have you ever been wronged or hurt deeply by people who should have your confidence and respect?  Have you ever played and replayed a hurtful scenario in your mind and wish you could forget but you can’t seem to?

When this happens you know in your heart that you should forgive, but instead you want to hurt back, you want to get even, you want revenge.  You even believe your feelings are justified.  They were clearly in the wrong.

Recently, I found myself in this predicament.  I rehearsed the verses I knew about forgiveness, especially those from Matthew 18: 23-35

“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.  When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.  So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’  And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.  But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’  So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.  When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.  Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.  And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’  And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt.  So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

This parable, which usually moves me to repentance, was having no affect on me.  I prayed to the Lord admitting that the battle in my heart was fierce.  I said, “I do not want to forgive!  I want to hurt those who have hurt me in the same way I have been wounded.  I really need your help Lord, I need a divine intervention.”

It was just a short time later that I picked up an old book, The Words of Jesus From the Cross, by Spurgeon, and read these words: “It is remarkable that our Lord’s prayer to his Father was not for himself.  The first of His seven great cries on the cross has scarcely even an indirect reference to Himself; it is ‘Father forgive them.’  This petition is altogether for others, and although there is an allusion to the cruelties which they were exercising upon himself, yet it is remote; and you will observe, he does not say, ‘I forgive them’—that is taken for granted—he seems to lose sight of the fact that they were doing any wrong to himself, it is the wrong which they were doing to the Father that was on his mind, the insult which they are paying to the Father, in the person of the Son; he thinks not of himself at all.  The cry, ‘Father, forgive them,’ is altogether unselfish.  He himself is, in the prayer, as though he were not; so complete is his self—annihilation, that he loses sight of himself and his woes.”

This was the arrow that pierced my heart.  In all my fuming I had lost sight of whose glory matters.  I had forgotten the first statement of the Westminster Catechism: “What is the chief end of man?  Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.”  The passion for my glory instead of God’s had clouded my vision.

When I thought about forgiving offenses done to me, I was unable to forgive, but when I realized it was the wrong, which they were doing to the Father that was most grave, the insult that they were paying to the Father, then I could ask Him to forgive them, and for grace for me to forgive for His glory.  The ability to forgive took divine intervention. It was God’s great grace to help me identify in a small way with my Savior Jesus Christ on the cross, and also stamp a little more of his image on my soul.  It is also a testimony to a skeptical world that God alone has the divine power and character to forgive and to grant it to His children who ask Him for it.

Have you ever experienced a time when forgiveness seemed impossible?  How did you deal with it?  Feel free to share with us in the comments below!