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If you didn’t know mother’s day is this Sunday.  I love mother’s day because I have the most amazing mom.  Yet I’ve been wrestling with thinking through this post because this day carries so many feelings of all kinds for so many different people.  For some, it is a happy day and for others it is painful.

There are those who are mothers because they gave their baby life.  There are those who are mothers because they stayed and were there.  There are those who are mothers because they raised another child that didn’t come from their own body but whom they love as if that child did.

There are those who aren’t mothers who’s hearts are breaking.  Maybe they are single and desire children.  Maybe they are wives who have wrestled with infertility.

Maybe you didn’t have a good mom.  Maybe you didn’t have a mom at all growing up.  Maybe you had an awesome mother and you are a mother yourself.  I don’t know what your story is or what side you’re on.  But I do know this: the world needs mothers.  It needs them in so many forms.  We need women who give life to others and I don’t just mean physically.  The dictionary definition of nurturing is the, “the process of caring for and encouraging the growth or development of someone or something.”

So to all the women out there who have encouraged the growth of others and who lovingly care for people in so many different ways, thank you.  We need you.  We want to be like you.  We want to bring life wherever we go.  To the mothers, mentors, biological mothers, nurturing friends and women in our lives we celebrate you!

Thank you for being the selfless people who lay down your lives for those around you.  Thank you for being the caring souls that we can find a safe haven in.  Thank you for sharing our joy and our pain.  Thank you for being our cheerleaders and for kicking us in the butt when we need it.  Thank you for giving us a chance.  Thank you for taking a huge risk on us.  Thank you for opening up your heart so we could learn to do the same.

Please make sure you take the time this week to reflect on those who have nurtured your life (especially your mom!) and then thank that woman for how she’s given to you and blessed you and shaped your life.

Today I have my amazing mom guest blogging for me!  A) Because this is a hard topic and B) she’s really wise! Thanks mom, I have a huge amount of respect and love for you.  

Have you ever been wronged or hurt deeply by people who should have your confidence and respect?  Have you ever played and replayed a hurtful scenario in your mind and wish you could forget but you can’t seem to?

When this happens you know in your heart that you should forgive, but instead you want to hurt back, you want to get even, you want revenge.  You even believe your feelings are justified.  They were clearly in the wrong.

Recently, I found myself in this predicament.  I rehearsed the verses I knew about forgiveness, especially those from Matthew 18: 23-35

“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.  When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.  So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’  And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.  But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’  So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.  When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.  Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.  And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’  And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt.  So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

This parable, which usually moves me to repentance, was having no affect on me.  I prayed to the Lord admitting that the battle in my heart was fierce.  I said, “I do not want to forgive!  I want to hurt those who have hurt me in the same way I have been wounded.  I really need your help Lord, I need a divine intervention.”

It was just a short time later that I picked up an old book, The Words of Jesus From the Cross, by Spurgeon, and read these words: “It is remarkable that our Lord’s prayer to his Father was not for himself.  The first of His seven great cries on the cross has scarcely even an indirect reference to Himself; it is ‘Father forgive them.’  This petition is altogether for others, and although there is an allusion to the cruelties which they were exercising upon himself, yet it is remote; and you will observe, he does not say, ‘I forgive them’—that is taken for granted—he seems to lose sight of the fact that they were doing any wrong to himself, it is the wrong which they were doing to the Father that was on his mind, the insult which they are paying to the Father, in the person of the Son; he thinks not of himself at all.  The cry, ‘Father, forgive them,’ is altogether unselfish.  He himself is, in the prayer, as though he were not; so complete is his self—annihilation, that he loses sight of himself and his woes.”

This was the arrow that pierced my heart.  In all my fuming I had lost sight of whose glory matters.  I had forgotten the first statement of the Westminster Catechism: “What is the chief end of man?  Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.”  The passion for my glory instead of God’s had clouded my vision.

When I thought about forgiving offenses done to me, I was unable to forgive, but when I realized it was the wrong, which they were doing to the Father that was most grave, the insult that they were paying to the Father, then I could ask Him to forgive them, and for grace for me to forgive for His glory.  The ability to forgive took divine intervention. It was God’s great grace to help me identify in a small way with my Savior Jesus Christ on the cross, and also stamp a little more of his image on my soul.  It is also a testimony to a skeptical world that God alone has the divine power and character to forgive and to grant it to His children who ask Him for it.

Have you ever experienced a time when forgiveness seemed impossible?  How did you deal with it?  Feel free to share with us in the comments below!

This will be my 27^th year without a date or “special someone” for Valentines Day.  It’s not like I’ve never dated or been in relationships but they’ve never happened around Valentine’s.  I realize that this holiday can be depressing if you’re single.  I get it.  You want a boyfriend or girlfriend, heck a spouse, just like everyone else seems to have.  If your social media feeds are anything like mine you probably assume the last single person (besides you)  just got engaged.  For the record though I’ve managed to not be depressed on any of those Valentines and instead they’ve been beautiful memories.  It’s because I’ve learned a few important things from people wiser than I am.  I wanted to share them with you too in the hopes that you’ll have an awesome Valentine’s day.

You’re not forgotten.  Nope you’re not.  When everyone seems to be dreaming about their person there’s someone thinking about you.  Someone really important has you on their mind all the time.  And I don’t mean your future spouse.  The God of the universe is thinking about YOU!  He’s more attentive than anyone you’ll ever meet.  Period.  You may forget him but he will never forget you.

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” Isaiah 49:15-16

“O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down     and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.” Psalms 139:1-4

Considering that God knows the number of hairs on your head (Matthew 10:30) I’d say that shows you are not forgotten.  Let’s not forget the number of hairs on your head are constantly changing…

Along those same lines, you’re not alone.  If you follow Christ he says that he will never leave you or forsake you.  The one who made all the flowers in the world and makes coco beans grow says he is by your side always.  I have some amazing friends and family but none of them are always able to be there for me 24/7 yet God is not only able but is with you all the time.  Even when he seems far away he’s not.

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20

“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8

Okay so one of my pet peeves is the thinking that an individual is not a whole person unless they are married or dating.  Someone isn’t going to complete you unless it’s Jesus.  If you long for marriage then yes, I hope that a wonderful gal or guy comes into your life and adds so much joy to it but if you think that you’re not complete without them that is just a lie.  I hope to get married someday but even if I don’t God didn’t create me to be half a person walking around.  I mean how weird would that be?

You have purpose my friend.  We get to be in relationship with Jesus and see his beauty.  We get to love like crazy in so many ways.

This Valentine’s Day I hope you get to celebrate what true love is about.  True love is sacrificial.  True love lays down its life for others.  True love is being awed, amazed and delighted in the One who created us.  If that sounds boring to us then we may have a small view of God.  Instead of only thinking about our single selves today let’s celebrate that we get to be alive and that we can show love to those around us.  Let’s celebrate that the very One that defines love is singing over us.  Let’s be single people who are irresistibly attractive because of the way we love others.  Even if we spend all the rest of our Valentine’s Days single it will not have been wasted or boring if we choose to focus our minds on the One who loves us best.

Here’s some ideas to spread some love today and make you happier: write a valentine’s day card to someone you think might not get any, give flowers to a shut in, make dinner for some of your single friends, buy a chocolate bar and share it with a child you know, pamper a single mom, or pay for someone’s drink in line behind you.

If you’re sad or lonely or feeling forgotten or just want someone to hold you I hope you know you’re loved and valued.  Sending you a big hug!

xxx
~elaini