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Part one, two, three, and four.

Stop.  Right where you are.  That was what I had to finally tell my self last week.  Don’t just pause while glancing both ways and then proceed.  Come to a complete stop.  It seemed that my soul had been caught up in a spiritual roundabout.  One that I couldn’t quite get out of.  Circling around the circumference of the real issue.  Until I stopped fully.  At that stop sign.  The one for my soul that is in the form of a cross.  I hadn’t been taking enough time to be with Jesus like my soul was wailing for.  I hadn’t taken time to just stop for a good long while and be still before him like I needed.  Instead I was just pausing and rolling right through.  When the cares of this life are coming at me from all different directions why don’t I stop like I need to?  Before I find myself in a wreck of sinful selfishness?  The Word is right there for me when I stop long enough to read…”Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matt. 11:28)  And in the stopping I have found rest.  Beautiful, captivating Love that sets me free from the rushing traffic of everyday life.  I see the rich red love of his blood on that cross.  That red sign saying stop.  “Be with me” I hear Jesus whisper softly.  I shouldn’t move on until I have fully stopped and been with him.  Only then is it safe to venture out where I am called to travel.  I don’t want to go a day without stopping.

P.S.  This is my take/try on/at color blocking…similar to when I tried this.

P.P.S.  If I raised the “goal” for fundraising again would you be willing to help me get there?  Not really for me but for the little children that need our help?

Need a break from the signs series but I’m pretty sure it will return… 🙂

Yesterday I drove home in the rain and as the sky poured droplets of water outside so also it rained inside my car.  My eyes welling up to spilling over.  This swelling of the rain clouds and the swelling of my heart so full it ran all liquid down my cheeks.  And my windshield wipers are pushing down water on my window while my eyelashes are trying to keep up with the deluge of water streaming down my face.  And I can barely see ahead of me and my soul can hardly see either.  Because I want to be there and instead I’m here.  Yet, so clearly and gently I discern that Voice that says I’m not supposed to see it all I just need to see what is right in front of me.  And a change in thinking reveals that I’m not stuck but I’m cupped and held in the hands of the everlasting One.  There is only one me and I’m right where I’m supposed to be.  Living out the story unique to me and not trying to skip ahead or around this gift of the present.  Because when I try to see too far ahead I miss the beauty right in front of me.  The often messy yet beautiful life I have been given…it’s a gift that’s passing far too quickly so why would I want to speed it up?  To be in someone else’s there when I have my own God ordained here?

The misty veiling of water in my eyes clears and my soul vision clears too and I realize I’ve been driving in the slow lane all along and realize that’s exactly where I need to be right now.  Going at a pace where I can soak up truth that the here and now is filled up to overflowing with all I need.  And that the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.  For they certainly have.

My kids in India are still in need of so many things like mattresses which cost $50.  Would you be willing to donate today towards those needs?  Even $10 helps!  Please just leave a comment in the box provided on the donation page if you want it to go for a mattress. 🙂

P.S.  My incredible friend Dorene makes these beautiful works of art (yes that hat is definitely a piece of art!) and sometimes I have the honor of modeling them for her. 🙂

(Photos by: Dorene Vandermeer)

Part one, two, and three.

“Slow children at play”.  (Always thought that there should be a comma after slow…ahem whatever.) 😉  I bet you’ve seen that sign before while driving through a neighborhood or a school zone area or park.  What can I learn from this sign is what I was wondering?  The importance of translating the meaning of this road message into my life is incredibly significant.  You see I’m the “baby” of the family.  I have an older sister and brother and when I was younger I looked up to them SO much.  In fact I wanted to dress similar, do what they did, and I even began to talk like my older sister.  To the point that people would comment on it.  I looked up to people older than me.  (Still do actually!)  Now that I’m “older” I realize that younger people look up to me.  And that is a bit scary.  Because what am I teaching them by just living?  When I’m not paying attention what is their attention picking up?  Children catch a lot more than you’d think…and usually they gather more from what you do than from what you say.  Typically they don’t process whether or not what they are learning is healthy or not until they are older.  Even when they are older they will often follow in someone’s footsteps even if they know something is wrong because they look up to that person.  And this screams at me to be careful.  Am I going slow enough to involve them in my life?  Do I see them as people? No, really?  Not just a silly little one but a person with dreams, fears, joys, and a future that is being affected by right now?  I can’t stress enough how important this is… Please consider it? Be involved in a younger person’s life.  Let them know that they are loved, valued, and important.  That’s how you change the world.  One person at a time.

UPDATE!!!!  $57,249.54  AHHHHHHHH SO HAPPY! OVER the 57K mark.  Next goal $57,500. 😀  There are still beautiful children that need mattresses and these beds cost $50 each.  Would you be willing to help a child sleep better?  If so please leave a comment in the box provided when you are donating that that is what you want your money to go towards. 🙂

P.S. While visiting my dear, dear friend in CO last week she said I don’t post enough pics of myself.  Awkward but ok.  I’ll try to do better everyone!

P.P.S Sometimes you just need to throw on jeans, cotton shirt, and flats…

Continued from part 2…see part 1 here.

Oh those yield signs…I don’t have a problem with them when I’m in my car but when I see I need to yield in my life that’s when the struggle occurs.  Am I willing to give up my self for the sake of others?  Am I willing to defer to someone else needs?  Am I willing to relinquish my desire to be comfortable for the well being of others?  A yielded life…that is what I want.  May my life be a surrendered life to the One who gave up everything to come down to earth so that he might give me himself, true heaven.  The yield and abundance that we reap from yielding our lives will be great.

“Nothing that you have not given away will ever truly be yours.” C.S. Lewis

“Love conquers all things; let us too surrender to Love” – Virgil

(Sorry about the lack of posts but I’m currently out of town…hopefully lots to blog about when I get back.)

P.S. There are still 5o of these beautiful children that need mattresses and they cost $50 each.  Would you be willing to help a child sleep better?  If so please leave a comment in the box provided when you are donating that that is what you want your money to go towards.

Continued from part 1…if you read that first it really will help this post make more sense.

So as I began thinking about road signs I began to wonder which one I come across most in my journey of life…it’s a toss up between detour and yield.  Ha.  For the sake of time let’s get into those detour signs. 😉  Yeah detour.  Ever been running late and come upon one of those?  I don’t know about you but unfortunately irritation is usually my first response.  When I hit a detour on the road of my life what I usually can’t see at first is that I should be rejoicing at this circumnavigation.  I’m missing the nasty AND getting to see a new side of things.  It might be the longer way but it is definitely going to be the better route.  It’s saying go around this crazy mess and be thankful that you’re not smack dab in the middle of it.  Getting your car beat up is a bad idea.  Having your life get some unnecessary bangs and bruises is even worse.  This divergence is only a temporary thing.  And the best part?  Not having to go through something that’s a wreck and still arriving at the spot you need to be at.  Rejoice in the unexpected route because you’re still going to get where you need to go.

“The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

“For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.” Psalms 91:11

So I’m think about doing a series on…road signs.  Road signs?  Yes, I was driving along today and I had a revelation moment.  And that’s why I want to do a few posts on this.  Kinda.  In fact there is so much I could pull out of this that I probably won’t be able to cover it adequately.  I go the same way to my chiropractor several times a week so I’m pretty used to the drive and don’t pay much attention but today was different.  I think that’s because God wanted to speak to me. 🙂  I know you’re probably thinking “through a road sign Elaini?”  Yep, I’m odd like that.  Anyways I’m going along just thinking to myself when I see the sign that says 25 mph.  I really dislike that sign…  I start to put on the brakes and slow down.  Waaaayyyyy down.  The next sign is what got me.  Construction ahead please slow down.  I felt like I was crawling along and that’s when it hit me.  In life we’re just cruising along when we see signs that we need to reduce speed and then comes THAT sign saying slow.  Go slowly.  Why?  Because of construction.  I don’t know about you but I want to race past the areas of my life that need change but God is telling me that I need to reduce the rate I’m going because he wants to do construction work. On.my.heart.  And in my life.  This crawling pace makes me feel that I may be late for an appointment with the next exciting thing in life but the real appointment is in the meeting of Jesus while on my knees.  Sure I may get distracted and feel like popping off those tempting orange cones (does anyone else want to pop those off?!) but instead I just need to focus on what’s in front of me and that consists of work he is doing.  It’s best to go through the construction zone slowly so that we don’t get a fine or go along just thinking that we are “fine” when there is work to be done in us.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10

Part 2 coming Thursday…

P.S. I had a sign picture but then I saw this one and had to post it.  Aren’t my girls just beautiful and amazing! Look at all that personality in one post.  Makes me smile. 😀

P.P.S There are still 5o of these beautiful children that need mattresses and they cost $50 each.  Would you be willing to help a child sleep better?  If so please leave a comment in the box provided when you are donating that that is what you want your money to go towards. 🙂

This my friends is part two of my take on the Justice conference.  Today I’m going to narrow it down a bit to one of the speakers I heard.  Do you want to know what really sealed the deal for me to go to this conference?  Two words:  Francis Chan.  Of course there is some background story as to why this is the case.  You see I didn’t really know who he was till last year when I watched a short clip of him speaking on Youtube.  It was a defining moment for me.  It was early April and in May I was going to be launching my 100 days dress project and I hadn’t told hardly anyone except a very small handful of people.  I was discouraged because let me tell you that if you’re going to wear the same dress for 100 days you also start thinking that maybe you’ve gone insane or that you really can’t do this.  But I watched this video with a balance beam illustration and I realized that I couldn’t NOT do the project God had laid on my heart.  See Mr. Chan has realized that living a life completely surrendered to God is the only way to truly live.  He gets what true love is about.  Actually he knows the One who is love and that has changed everything.  He told story after story of God’s faithfulness and goodness.  His words about Christ touched me and left tears of awe and thankfulness making tracks down my cheeks while it left truth on my heart.  And this God of love…well see Jesus loves ME so shouldn’t that change everything?  Yes.  I want to live a life surrendered to the One who gave up everything for me.  He gave his life for me and I want to give my life for others.  I can’t do it on my own so I cry out for his Holy Spirit to work in me.  To leave me changed.  I don’t want to live a complacent life.  Turning a deaf ear to the cries of others.  Francis said this, “It’s not about playing it safe.  Don’t let your life get safer and safer…”.  I only have one life and so do you.  I don’t want to fizzle out.  I want to go out blazing.  When my day comes to leave this earth I want to smile knowing that I trusted in who God said he is and that it changed me.  That it changed my priorities, my giving, my interactions…And everything I chose to do.  Are you willing to surrender and give up your life fully to the only One who will ever satisfy you so that you might gain it truly?  In Luke 9:24 Jesus says this, “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.”  What will you do?  This thought by Jim Elliot is so poignant: “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot loose.”

I wish I could find the link of Francis Chan speaking at the conference for you to listen to because I have done a very faulty job of telling what he spoke on and haven’t even skimmed the surface.  Since I don’t have that I hope you will at least give a few minutes of your time to watch this video below that I was talking about.  You wont regret it.

UPDATE! $56,869.54  Would you be willing to give $10 dollars today?  Because our darlings in India still need mattresses.  50 of them are still sleeping on boards.  Your donations make a difference and put smiles on their faces.  Please just leave a comment in the box provided on the donation page if you want it to go for beds. 🙂

4,000 people and I came together for justice over the weekend.  Justice 2012.  How do I even begin to process?!  Two days chock-full of multiple aspects of justice.  We covered everything from the meaning of the word, to what it should enliven us to do, to the statistics, and so many things in between.  I was once again reminded though of how dull I can get when hearing the numbers.  It just doesn’t even compute with my brain.  27 million slaves toady?  But it does resonate with my heart when I hear that right this very moment a child (A CHILD) somewhere is being repeatedly raped.  And it makes me angry and sick to my stomach.  I pray it spurs me on to act.  Because that child is loved and has so much value and worth.  What if I put a face on “that child”?  A face of my niece or the little girl I babysit or a friend or sister.  What if it was your daughter?  The problems in the world today are extreme and vast and truly overwhelming.  That’s why we need to make it personal.  Let’s see these people in need as our neighbor.  And aren’t we supposed to help our neighbor?  So much flinging through my brain to share but I’ll keep it short today.

Here are two quotes I’ll leave you with that were shared in one of my sessions:

“If I look at the masses I will never act.  If I look at the one I will.”  Mother Teresa

“Let us be the ones who say we do not accept that a child dies every three seconds simply because he does not have the drugs you and I have. Let us be the ones to say we are not satisfied that your place of birth determines your right to life. Let us be outraged, let us be loud, let us be bold.”  Brad Pitt

And one more I found…

“You can’t comfort the afflicted without afflicting the comfortable.”  Princess Diana

Hello you wonderful people! So a few Tuesdays ago I had something happen to me that’s never happened before.  I was going about my day as normal and then I was off to meet with a friend when I looked for my keys…and couldn’t find them!  What this doesn’t happen to you all the time?! you ask.  Nope.  So I prayed and looked around and behold they were no where to be found.  Fast forward to the next day when I have practically torn apart my house looking for them.  Still no sign of the keys.  Oh and I realized they’d been missing since Sunday so who knew where they were… (I know you’re probably thinking that I have no life if I really didn’t know my car keys were missing from Sunday till Tuesday 😉 )  Anyways after canceling an appointment and having to use my parents car I’m trying not to be frustrated and instead laugh at the situation.  At this point I have looked in the freezer, the couch, some other very odd places, and even gotten  suggestions from people on Facebook as to where to look.  My feelings at this point are this: I wish I could type in a “search” on my house and it would tell me where my keys are.  By the time Wednesday night rolled around I was completely baffled.  And then my mom suggested I search the trash.  Yep, you heard right.  You see I had checked the trash but I’d been avoiding the garbage in the kitchen (with good reason mind you!), so I grabbed my hot pink gloves (if you’re gonna wear gloves they might as well be hot pink) and said a prayer and literally kept reminding myself that people all over the world and children in India have to go through trash all the time to stay alive and so I dug in.  It was not pleasant folks.  AT ALL.  And there at the very bottom…I spotted something! Could it be??  YES IT WAS! My keys! You should have seen the look of jubilation on my face as I sat on the kitchen floor laughing in my pjs with my hands in stinking garbage.  Lifting out my keys you would have thought I was holding up a gold medal.  So yeah I need to go get another key made so that this never happens again… 😉  Hope your Tuesday is going splendidly!  Have you ever lost your keys only to find them again?  If you have a funny story please share in the comments!

Oh, and if you’re wondering what do these pictures have to do with this post…well let’s just say my life isn’t always as glamorous as it might look.  😉  Sometimes I get to model for my amazing friend Dorene (who made this incredible hat) and sometimes I have to dig though garbage.  Welcome to my life. 🙂

UPDATE!!! $56,849.54  YEAH!!!! OK you’re all incredible! Look only need a little more to push it to the 57K mark. 🙂  Want to help?  50 darlings are sleeping on boards still and need mattresses.  So if you want to donate $10 bucks today that would be such a sweet gift.  (Please just mark in the comments when you donate that you want it to go for mattresses.)

(Photos by: Dorene Vandermeer)

I don’t feel that it’s very often that I have a profound moment but yesterday while reading I experienced a known truth in a new way.  These are the words from Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon and it fit so well for my life right now I felt that it could have come from my heart:

“Lord, help me to glorify You; I am poor, help me to glorify You by contentment; I am sick, help me to give You honor by patience; I have talents, help me to extol You by spending them for You; I have time, Lord, help me to redeem it, that I may serve You; I have a heart to feel, Lord, let that heart feel no love but Yours and glow with no flame but affection for You; I have a head to think, Lord, help me to think of You and for You; You have put me in this world for something, Lord, show me what that is, and help me to work out my life purpose: I cannot do much, but as the widow put in her two small coins, which were all her living, so, Lord, I cast my time and eternity, too, into Your treasury; I am all Yours; take me, and enable me to glorify You now, in all that I do, and with all that I have.”

It was as I read over the words “all her living” that the print popped off the page.  Jesus wasn’t as concerned about the money that she gave as he cared about her life.  Not her wealth or the lack of it but the way she was living.  Her story was important to him.  My life, your life, and our living is what matters.  This daily giving of our very selves.  God doesn’t want us to just give him our livelihood he wants us to give him our living out.  To spend all our life on him.  Expending what little we might think we have because it is the little things that matter.  That our every breath might be a praise and every movement a recognition of grace.  Let our lives be a currency of thankfulness.

This penny represents the approximate amount that the widow gave.  And it’s date is the year I was born.  Because I want to give the living out of my life to him.